Iddah in Islam,why should a woman spend iddah
*MY HUSBAND JUST PASSED AWAY RECENTLY. WHY SHOULD I SPEND IDDAH?*
*QUESTION:*
I am a widow. My husband just passed away recently. Why should I spend Iddah?
*ANSWER:*
Shariah considers the natural disposition, circumstances and emotions of human beings. It is natural for a person to grieve upon the death of near and dear ones. Generally, the mourning period upon the demise of near and dear ones is three days.
See the following Hadith:
لاَ يَحِلُّ لِامْرَأَةٍ تُؤْمِنُ بِاللَّهِ وَاليَوْمِ الآخِرِ، أَنْ تُحِدَّ عَلَى مَيِّتٍ فَوْقَ ثَلاَثٍ، إِلَّا عَلَى زَوْجٍ، فَإِنَّهَا تُحِدُّ عَلَيْهِ أَرْبَعَةَ أَشْهُرٍ وَعَشْرًا (صحيح البخارى: 1280)
Translation: It is not permissible for a woman who believes in Allah and the Last Day to mourn for anyone who dies for more than three days except for a husband; she should mourn for him for four months and ten (days). (Bukhari: 1280)
However, the pain and grief of a widow losing her husband is greater in comparison to the pain and grief of any other person passing away.
Rasullullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wassalam) stated:
لَمْ يرَ لِلْمُتَحَابَّيْنِ مِثْلَ النِّكَاحِ (سنن ابن ماجه: 1847)
Translation: There is nothing like marriage, for two who love one another. (Ibn Majah: 1847)
Hence, Shariah has considered the close bond and relationship between the spouses and understand the extent of pain and grief of the widow. Shariah has thus stipulated the mourning period for a widow for four months and ten days to give her time to mourn and overcome her emotions. Allah Ta’ala says:
وَالَّذِينَ يُتَوَفَّوْنَ مِنكُمْ وَيَذَرُونَ أَزْوَاجًا يَتَرَبَّصْنَ بِأَنفُسِهِنَّ أَرْبَعَةَ أَشْهُرٍ وَعَشْرًا ۖ فَإِذَا بَلَغْنَ أَجَلَهُنَّ فَلَا جُنَاحَ عَلَيْكُمْ فِيمَا فَعَلْنَ فِي أَنفُسِهِنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ ۗ وَاللَّهُ بِمَا تَعْمَلُونَ خَبِيرٌ (البقرة:234)
Translation: “For those men who die amongst you and leave behind wives, they (the wives) must confine themselves (spend iddah) for four months and ten days.” (Al-Baqarah: 234)
When a person submits to the order of Allah Ta’ala, there will be Barakah and goodness in fulfilling the order. Conversely, if one goes against the order of Allah Ta’ala, one will be deprived of the mercy and help of Allah Ta’ala. A grieving widow is in dire need of the help of Allah Ta’ala. The best recourse for her is to submit to the order of Allah Ta’ala and observe Iddah. See the following verses on submitting to the order of Allah Ta’ala:
{وَمَنْ يُطِعِ اللَّهَ وَرَسُولَهُ يُدْخِلْهُ جَنَّاتٍ تَجْرِي مِنْ تَحْتِهَا الْأَنْهَارُ خَالِدِينَ فِيهَا وَذَلِكَ الْفَوْزُ الْعَظِيمُ} [النساء: 13]
Translation: Whoever obeys Allah and His Rasool (Sallallahu Alaihi Wassalam), Allah will enter him into Jannah beneath which rivers flow, where they shall live forever. That is the supreme success. (Nisaa: 13)
{وَمَنْ يُطِعِ اللَّهَ وَالرَّسُولَ فَأُولَئِكَ مَعَ الَّذِينَ أَنْعَمَ اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِمْ مِنَ النَّبِيِّينَ وَالصِّدِّيقِينَ وَالشُّهَدَاءِ وَالصَّالِحِينَ وَحَسُنَ أُولَئِكَ رَفِيقًا} [النساء: 69]
Translation: Those who obey Allah and the Rasool will be with those Ambiyaa, Siddeeqeen and righteous ones on whom Allah has bestowed His bounties. These are indeed the best of companions. (Nisaa: 69)
‘Iddah is actually the right of the husband upon the widow. A woman who observes Iddah fulfils the command of Allah Ta’ala and also fulfils the rights of her husband. She thus receives reward for fulfilling the right of her husband even after his demise.
‘Iddah is also a means of raising the esteem of the marriage, honouring its status and showing reverence to the bond of marriage. It is a period of planning for a smooth shift into the life ahead. It gives a woman time off from the public domain and thereby, protect her dignity.
If a widow does not have any source of income and she needs to earn an income, she may go out in the day and return before the night. If a woman has a source of income or she could work from home, it is prohibited for her to leave the home during ‘Iddah. Observing ‘Iddah and the laws of ‘Iddah is compulsory an act of great virtue. A woman in ‘Iddah is in the mercy of Allah. Her Du’as are accepted. She should use the time to make ‘Ibadah and also make Isaale Thawaab for her husband. She should perform Nafl Salah, recite Qur’an and give charity. She should also make Istighfaar for him. See the following narrations:
عَنْ عَائِشَةَ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهَا: أَنَّ رَجُلًا قَالَ لِلنَّبِيِّ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ: إِنَّ أُمِّي افْتُلِتَتْ نَفْسُهَا، وَأَظُنُّهَا لَوْ تَكَلَّمَتْ تَصَدَّقَتْ، فَهَلْ لَهَا أَجْرٌ إِنْ تَصَدَّقْتُ عَنْهَا؟ قَالَ: نَعَمْ (صحيح البخارى: 1388)
Translation: ‘Aisha (Radhiyallahu ‘Anha) narrates that A man said to the Prophet (Salallahu Alayhi Wasallam), My mother died suddenly and I thought that if she had lived, she would have given alms. So, if I give alms now on her behalf, will she get the reward?’ The Prophet (Salallahu Alayhi Wasallam) replied, ‘Yes’. (Bukhari: 1388)
إِذَا مَاتَ الْإِنْسَانُ انْقَطَعَ عَنْهُ عَمَلُهُ إِلَّا مِنْ ثَلَاثَةٍ: إِلَّا مِنْ صَدَقَةٍ جَارِيَةٍ، أَوْ عِلْمٍ يُنْتَفَعُ بِهِ، أَوْ وَلَدٍ صَالِحٍ يَدْعُو لَهُ (صحيح مسلم: 14)
Translation: When a man dies his acts come to an end but three, recurring charity, knowledge (by which people) benefit, or a pious child who prays for him (for the deceased).” (Muslim: 14)
إِنَّ اللَّهَ عَزَّ وَجَلَّ لَيَرْفَعُ الدَّرَجَةَ لِلْعَبْدِ الصَّالِحِ فِي الْجَنَّةِ، فَيَقُولُ: يَا رَبِّ، أَنَّى لِي هَذِهِ؟ فَيَقُولُ: بِاسْتِغْفَارِ وَلَدِكَ لَكَ (مسند احمد:10610)
Translation: Verily, Allah shall elevate the grade of a righteous servant in Paradise, who will ask, ‘O Lord! How did I earn this?’ Allah will reply, ‘Through your son’s invoking Me to forgive you. (Musnad Ahmad: 10610)
We make Du’a Allah grant all women who have become widows Sabr Jameel and courage to overcome the emotional period of ‘Iddah. May Allah grant their husbands Jannatul Firdaws and make their graves gardens of paradise. May Allah grant us the realisation of our death and prepare for death and meeting Allah. Aameen.
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Mahmood Suliman
Student Darul Iftaa
Gaborone, Botswana
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai
*📚 Sunnah Talks 📖*
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